Dick Cheney Working on Grimoire
June 24th, 2009Working title: “It Rubs the Lotion on Its Skin or Else It Gets the Hose Again.”
Via: AP:
Former Vice President Dick Cheney has signed a book deal with a conservative imprint of Simon & Schuster and said he hopes readers of all ideologies will be interested in his story. The memoir by Cheney, widely considered the most powerful vice president in history, is expected to be published in Spring 2011, a few months after President George W. Bush’s book comes out.
Cheney’s work is currently untitled and will cover his long career in government, from chief of staff under President Ford to vice president under Bush, from Vietnam and Watergate to the first Gulf War and the Sept. 11 attacks.
In a telephone interview Tuesday with The Associated Press, the 68-year-old Cheney noted that he had never written a book about his years in government, which dates back to the 1960s.
“I’m persuaded there are a lot of interesting stories that ought to be told,” Cheney said. “I want my grandkids, 20 or 30 years from now, to be able to read it and understand what I did, and why I did it.”
Read him his Miranda Rights before the statute of limitations runs out. Hopefully, his grandkids can read a court transcript.
Most likely, this “grimoir” will take the form of an Aesop’s Fables. After all, he says the audience he is writing to is is “grandchildren.” His grandchildren will most likely find a way to erase all traces of association with the “C” family name when the truth – and I think it will be told – about what this ogre has done in his lifetime.
I imagine as he writes it, with his grandchildren in mind, it will be one fantastic tale after another, full of creatures (or humans in the guise thereof). Whether he writes about his tenure at Haliburton – I’m just drooling to think of it. You know, buying Dresser Industries with its HUGE ASBESTOS liability – (and how it almost bankrupted Haliburton) and then how he figured how to use the his minions at Haliburton as stand ins for the U.S. military, and then when the auditors found out Haliburton charged too much for everything, in Boznia, or well, wherever they went, well the WTC buildings had to be demolished. You know its pretty expensive to move all of that asbestos out of the tallest buildings in New York. Jimminy.
Smart move. I wonder how he’ll manage to potray himself as a Prince, rather than a real TOAD on that chapter of his life!
I could on and on. No need. This book just might be the laughter pill I need in the Spring of 2011. Except that most likely, I won’t be buying new books (will be on a REAL TIGHT BUDGET) thanks to all that has been done in this TOAD’s name (sorry toads I really like you as anphibious creatures – just can’t think of another word to describe the big dick).